Friday, December 26, 2014

Seven Months...

Dearest Jude,

This month's entry is a few days late. I apologize. It is Christmas time :)
We do not celebrate it, however, your sister Rachel, grammie, auntie Lynne and cousins celebrate it.
On your "birthday", you and I took a trip to Wolfville to drive your sissy Rachel home. She had spent a couple of days with us. She came late in the night when baba came home from work. You woke up in the middle of the night and she got you out of your crib. She said that your were pleasantly surprised to see her. And I absolutely am certain that is true. You get so excited whenever she is around. Maybe it is because the age difference between the two of you is just enough for Rachel and you to appreciate one another and have fun together. And that you do. You are always playing around with one another and showing her new tricks. This time you were leaning against her while she had you in her lap, with your back to her face. She would move her legs back and forth, and you would try to bite her knee wherever it was supposed to be. It was the cutest thing mashallah.
I don't have an update on your length or weight. All I know is that I am having a hard time finding clothing in your dresser in the 6 month category that actually fits you. We needed to get you a couple of onsies and shirts and ended up buying sizes 9-12 months, mashallah.

I wanted to take the opportunity to explain  something about Christmas to you. I was privileged enough to be born to Muslim parents. Your tete and jiddo tried their best to teach your uncle and I the right way of doing things, of living. They exposed us to as much religion education as possible. My real education, however, came when I was at university. I learned a lot about my religion and beliefs, and was made aware of the difference between cultural and religious beliefs. Your dad was born Christian, and became Muslim before him and I got married. His family is still up to this point Christian.
With regards to Christmas, some Christians believe that Jesus Peace Be Upon Him, was born on December, 25th. However, that date was chosen, I believe to coincide with a pagan festival to try and attract as many pagans to Christianity as possible, when Christianity was still a new religion. You can make up your mind about this and research this yourself, if you would like. This brings me to an important point. As Muslims, we believe that there is only one God. The individuals who were given the message from God, are prophets and messengers from God. We have faith in God and his infinite power and wisdom. Faith dictates that what might seem as impossible, can actually be possible. The stories from the Quran of the prophets, to me, represent examples of how we should behave. Also, the stories of who we believe as the last prophet, Muhammed, Peace Be Upon Him, are also supposed to be an example of how we are striving to be in this world. The Quran, provides history, stories, education on this world, as well as rules for us to follow, among many other things. It is a blessing for us to have this Holy Book as it has not and never will be altered like many other Holy Books. The Sirah (سيرة) or the story of Muhammad PBUH, provides an interpretation of the Quran, as well as an example for us to strive to follow, from Muhammad PBUH's own life and practices. Again, this is just an interpretation of my own understanding. You can research what you hopefully would have grown up with.
For us to be Muslims, we must believe in one God, his prophets (including Moses and Jesus, without any one prophet being "extra special"),  the Holy Books, angels, heaven and hell, and the judgment day.
So, celebrating Christmas, to us, is idolizing a human being, which goes against our faith. Here's a Surah from the Quran. It is called "Al-Ikhlas" or the "sincerity". It is very important to really understand what this surah is saying.

This does not mean that we are better than anyone. This does not mean that they are wrong and we are right. We believe in one God. Some Christians believe in Jesus PBUH as the son of God.  To each their own is what I hope you will get out of all of this. I know I will be contradicting myself when I say this, but I must say it. I truly believe that we are on the right path. Not because that is how I was raised. But because to me islam is the right way of life. It is based on fairness, forgiveness, showing mercy to the living as well as the dead. Islam is truly peace, as the name suggests (اسلام). Whenever I am "away" from God, I feel alone. Not because of some manifestation, but because we as humans need faith in something. We have too many questions that just can not be answered. Science can only explain so much, before we run out of theories and possibilities. There is a higher power, and we are all trying to find it in our own ways. Also, we are sometimes too smart for our own good. These days, if you look back to the period of 2000 and 2014, you will see that Islam does not have the best reputation. Some individuals and groups, who are truly misguided, unfortunately have done many ugly things and used islam as an excuse for their actions. This is not isolated to Islam. If  you look back at history, a lot of heinous crimes were committed in the name of ideology and religion. So please don't base beliefs on the actions of human beings, as humans do not form the faith, but the teachings do. The religion just like God, I'd perfect, but humans are not and will never be. 

So, be strong little man, and stick to your beliefs and values. Be sure that you are on the right path at all times. Do not be too lenient or too strict. It is like climbing a hill. If you rush too far up the hill, you will fall off the other side. If you go too slow, you will fall down and end up at the starting point again. So be moderate my son. Do not follow blindly what one imam or minister says. Do your own research. Use your brain, and let youd hrart lead you to the right path inshallah. After all, that is what your heart is there for. Trust in God and inshallah you will have a wonderful life. There will be challenges, and that is ok. Good things and bad things come from God. There is a reason for all of it. Thank God for everything that comes your way. Thank Him for sickness, for health, for sadness, for happiness. They are all blessings in disguise, to show yourself and God, what you are capable of. Have passion for God and for your faith, because no matter what happens, that is all you will be left with. We don't meet our Maker with pockets full of money, or with certificates of good behavior from this person or that. All we have is our deeds to back us up. No matter what happens, God is the All Merciful, All Malefisent.

I apologize for the long post, the opportunity just presented itself. I love you with all my heart my darling. My heart aches for you because you are in pain now. You have your two bottom teeth, but we think that more teeth are coming up. So now you are sleeping in our bed with baba. We secretly love having you with us. We are fighting within ourselves between keeping you with us,  and for you to sleep in your crib. The former is winning now, because of your pain and suffering with your teeth, of course.

Happy seven months my darling. I hope you are happy with us. I also hope you know just how special you are and what a blessing you are to us. Alhamdellah for you.


Monday, November 24, 2014

Six Months....

Hey There Big Guy!

You are six months old, my darling! Half a year! I can not get over how quickly those six months passed.
You are a regular chatterbox mashallah. A lot of times it sounds like you are speaking to your baba and I. You are also vastly testing your voice box. You have a vast range of sounds and volumes. The least favourite of mine is the one that sounds like you have a hairball stuck in your throat. I took you to school with me a couple of times and people around me were wondering why I am leaving my handsome boy to choke on whatever it is he was choking on. You had your very first playdate just a couple of days ago, on the 21st. We visited with a lady we met at the Optometrist's office. She has Jason, who is your buddy and is 4 months older than you, and TJ who is 3 years old and is a strong-willed young man. You seemed to enjoy yourself.
You eat lots of fruits, vegetables and cereal, and your body behaves like a regular little man's would. You are also very eager to stand up on your own and are a little mad scientist in your exersaucer. You are REALLY enjoying the Jolly Jumper! The minute the little harness is on you, you are pushing with your legs and working your feet to jump. You wouldn't even be hanging yet and you would be trying to jump already. You could spend hours in that thing if we left you to it.
Unfortunately, you have celebrated your six-month birthday with a chest cold. You are congested and mama and baba are very worried. It was bound to happen, considering that you put everything in your mouth. But that is how your immune system develops so it is a part of your journey.
Your stats are pretty good. Your head circumference is 43cm, you weighed in at approximately 7.6kg and are 74cm long. We have the ok from your doctor for you to eat anything and everything, other than honey. So your baba and I are pretty excited about that.
Rachel came and spent your birthday weekend with us. She loves you so much and you love her too. You are so taken by her whenever she is around. We all love you and can not believe how lucky and blessed we are to have you in our lives. Mashallah, may Allah bless you, you are an amazing guy, little one.

I am going to try and keep those notes short, don't really know how successful that will be. But here goes! Your grammie, auntie, khalo, tete and jiddo love you very much. We are so blessed to have you. You are getting restless so I am going to end this now.

Love you with all my heart, little buddy.
Your mama

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Five Months...

October 23rd, 2014

Dearest One,

Today, you are five months old. I can not even keep track of all the changes that have taken place since the last post, mashallah there have been so many. First of all, you are one curious individual! Any chance you get to be up and your feet and looking around, you take full advantage of it. Your dad and I were just saying today that when you are standing up, with our help, you are looking around with big brown eyes, trying to figure out what to get your hands on, when the opportunity presents itself. You want to put everything in your mouth. Which brings me to your beautiful wonderful hands. You are now able to control them more than before, alhamdellah. You can grab of things now and bring them to your mouth. Even your feet are being pulled as far up to your face as you can pull to get them in your mouth. Sophie the Giraffe is very useful now because you can actually hold her and rub her on your gums. Still no teeth, although it seems you are getting two on the top as well as the bottom. So, my poor son is dealing with four teeth coming in. You seem to be handling it relatively well though. Not sure if the amber necklace is actually working or if it is just the fact that you are an amazing boy. Either way, you are an amazing boy. You only whine and cry when something is wrong, alhamdellah a thousand times.

We started giving you rice cereal this month. You love it. We started with rice cereal once a day and now you are taking it twice a day. We have also been giving you vegetables and fruits at four day intervals. We started with green beans, wax beans, carrots, potatoes, squash, avocado, watermelon, bananas and mixed berries. So far, you are good with everything listed, and you seem to like them all. But the last few days your stomach has been upset, and so you have been getting rice cereal and no vegetables or fruits. We will start giving you everything listed but will keep you away from squash and avocado, as they didn't seem to agree with your tummy. You are still mama's bosom buddy and you get bottles too.

Mashallah you are long, although I don't have a length for you for this month, or a weight for that matter, as you haven't had a doctor's appointment this month. You are fitting into the 6-9 month onsies and outfits. The smaller sizes are tight on you. You are in size 3 Huggies diapers now, mashallah. You are sleeping well throughout the night, but do not seem to like naps during the daytime. The only way you nap is if you are cuddled with baba or myself, or by laying on my chest. You are spending more time in your crib, because you are long enough to hit your head and wake yourself up in the bassinet, mashallah. If you are not sleeping in the crib, you are in bed with us. You have been sleeping with us lately because you have not been feeling well. Your teeth seem to be bothering you a bit more than usual these days. You enjoy playing on your MonkeyMat and have even managed to rip one of the toys out. You also seem to enjoy your time in the highchair as well as the Jolly Jumper. You are like a mad scientist on the Jolly Jumper and are trying to touch everything all at once. We have been trying to give you belly time, but it seems to upset you more than anything, so admittedly, we have been slacking with that.

I will try to find a Mommy & Me group that we can join. You seem to get a bit nervous with other people these days, a lot more than when you were younger. So it would be nice to get you used to seeing and interacting with people more. We still video chat with Tete and Jiddo every day. Your khalo Mohammed can not get enough of you. He keeps saying how he loves you like you are his own son and that he doesn't need to have kids because he thinks of you as his. We don't know about that now do we?

You have met my Khalo Ghassan, Tete's younger brother. He has admitted that he is not very good with babies, and did not hold my cousins until they were older, as he was nervous about their fragility. But he seemed like a natural with you. Whenever we were around he had you with him and was carrying you and playing with you. He got you a bunch of presents, including a stuffed horse toy. I hope you still have it.

I love you with all my heart, buddy. You are my best friend. You are my miracle. Never forget how much your dad and I love you.

With all my heart, I am forever yours.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Four Months...

Sept. 23rd, 2014

Dearest One,

Today, You are four months old. You have grown so much, mashallah. You are long, thank God, and I hope you keep getting longer and longer. You get that from your dad and from your Jiddo. Your mama and Tete are short, so we are both glad that you are long. You are pretty heavy too mashallah. I find it harder carrying you around. You still insist on being carried. The moment your dad or I put you down, you start getting upset. You are too cute not to accomodate. So we just go on carrying you. To be honest I, and your dad, enjoy the cuddles, so we really don't mind. We will get more information on your statistics and such tomorrow inshallah.

We started video chatting with your Tete and Jiddo every day. Your Jiddo has a big smile and a few laughs every time we talk to him. He finds you adorable. He gets a kick out of calling you "asla3", which means the bald one. You have lots of hair, it is just not thick yet and it is very fair. He, and your Tete enjoy watching your antics and look forward to the video chats. Your khalo still goes on about how handsome you are. He enjoys carrying you and doing the dabke with you. You seem to like it. Your Grammie thinks you are the best human being, and I agree, mashallah. Your Auntie Lynne can't get enough of you. Rachel comes down for visits a lot more, which you seem to enjoy immensely. You are full of smiles and laughter for her, and she has the excitement and love required to keep you two entertained for hours on end. Alana tries to spend as much time with you as she possibly can.

This month, your mama started a class at Mount Saint Vincent University. That is the university your mama went to last. It is only one course, so it has been good so far. I enjoy being busy with you and with the class. I like keeping my mind working, and being at school is a good way to do it for now. I try to read with you, but we haven't been doing that as much as I would like. I should do it more, maybe even every day. You are not napping as much during the day, so I am focusing on that quite a bit. I was told that napping twice a day would help you sleep better at night. "Sleep begets sleep". You are sleeping well at night, so I would like for that to continue.

We are still giving you formula, as well as the bossom. We tried you on rice cereal a couple of times, a few days ago. The first time, you were iffy and did not take a whole lot of it in. The second time, we put it in a bottle for you. Half the bottle was gone before we realized that you took in the water and the rest of the bottle had thick rice cereal in it. You and I were hanging out at home just two days ago, and I thought I would give it another shot with you. You ate a bowl-full, but spat up a bit. Inshallah we will keep going with it, and maybe start trying some pureed vegetables soon.

You are still a huge fan of the window in our bedroom. You can lay on our bed and look out that window for hours. You love watching the trees outside and their leaves rustling and dancing with the wind. I try to take you on walks outside, and I believe that you truly derive a lot of enjoyment out of them. You are always looking around, trying to take in as much as possible. You are then so relaxed, that you usually end up falling asleep halfway through the walk.

For your "birthday", we went out and I got you some new clothes. You are fitting in the 6-12 sizes, mashallah. This was very exciting for me, as this was the first time I bought you clothing. It was a mama-son date, I guess, and I was extremely pleased with it. You, however, were very grumpy. I believe your gums are bothering you a lot more these days than they do usually. I think that pretty soon your bottom two front teeth will make an appearance, inshallah.

I know I keep writing this, but I truly believe that you are a blessing from God. You are just a beautiful, wonderful angel. You are an amazing baby. You don't cry unless you need to. Everyone is surprised that you are sleeping through the night already, mashallah mashallah mashallah. I just am amazed that God gave you to me. I am just so blessed to have you in my life. Please don't ever forget how blessed we both are to have your baba in our life. He is very hard-working, and is always trying to make sure that you don't go without anything. This province is not the best with regards to employment and pay, so he is trying to have the bills paid, food on the table, and gas in the tank of the car, as well as everything else in the house all done. It is a lot of pressure to take care of a family and I really think that he is doing an amazing job at it. Your baba and I are still adjusting to our new roles, as well as figuring out how our old roles should work now. Never forget that any relationship takes work to grow and flourish. If it is worth having, it is worth the hard work. I really need to think about that concept with my relationship with Allah. I truly hope and pray that you will grow up knowing God, appreciating everything that He gives you and takes away from you, and worshipping him through prayer, fasting, pilgrimage, as well as being a kind person towards all living things. Islam has a bad reputation now, and I do hope that by the time you are older and are reading this, that people and the media are not fueled by the islamophobia propaganda. Islam is a beautiful religion, a wonderful set of rules and way of life to abide to and live by. When in doubt about this, do not look at what people around you are doing, as they are not Islam. That includes your father and I. Look at the Quran and look at the example of the prophets, most importantly Mohammed Peace Be Upon Him, as God has sent him as well as all the prophets for us to follow. Always remember that whatever happens, happens for a reason, and not just any reason, but a good one. Even if things might look dire, Allah will not let them happen unless He knows that you can handle them. Be strong in faith and heart, and inshallah with the guidance from Allah, you will not be steered wrong.

I love you with all my heart, mama's little buddy. Whenever you want a friend, know that I am here. I will always be your mother, but when you need a friend, I am here for you. You might not like what your father and I have to say, but know that we are saying those things because we are looking out for our sweet angel and want the best for him. We want you to have a better life than we did, just like my parents wanted for your khalo and I. We would never intentionally steer you wrong my darling.

I love you. Bahibbak ya Jude.

Your friend second, your Mama before anything else.

P.S. Your doctor's appointment was on September, 24th. You had another set of vaccinations. You had two needles. We tried the numbing cream on you and the first needle did not seem to bother you as much. But the second one made you scream, my poor little one. My heart broke for you.
You are 6.9 kg. You are 64 cm long. Your head circumference is 39.5. I believe that you are thriving mashallah. You are very aware and engaged with your surroundings. You babble and do the "gggggggggghhhhhh" quite a bit. You are loving to laugh a lot more now. We have a few videos documenting that. The doctor was happy to hear all of this.
After the doctor's appointment, you and I went to First Lake and had a long walk together. Just as predicted, you enjoyed looking at the greenery around you. You enjoy that trail, as there is different scenery to be witnessed. The seasons are changing and I think you are noticing the change in the leaves as well as the temperatures. Inshallah we will have many more walks and many more seasons together. I love you.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Three Months...

August 23rd, 2014

Dearest One,

Today, you are three months old. You are great at holding yourself up and looking around when someone is holding you. You remind me of a meerkat. You turn your head around trying to take in everything that might be happening all around you. You are so curious, you even try to keep yourself awake just to make sure that you don't miss out on anything.

I might be biased, but I truly believe that you are ahead of your age. You are "talking" up a storm,  you are "ag-oo"ing like crazy, and you are not fitting in the 0-3 months clothes we have for you anymore. You are just an incredible human being, my miracle, my friend, my gift and blessing from God.

Your Tete was in town for two months. She went and visited your great-tete and great-jiddo in New Jersey. They are staying with khalti Lina until things calm down in Syria. I hope that things calm down in my homeland and that I will be able to take you there for a visit very soon. I am sure you will love Syria. Your mama didn't grow up there, but has felt at home the minute she stepped off the plane, everytime.

Your tete's flight from Halifax International Airport to Kuwait, where your khalo and I grew up, was yesterday at 4:00pm. She cried for three days prior to Friday the 22nd,  because she could not imagine not seeing you everyday. The whole time she was here, your mama had to make sure that you were at tete's everyday to cuddle with her and spend as much time with her as possible.  If your baba and I didn't do that, we heard about how cruel it was to keep you away from her for so long (the longest she didn't see you was two days and that was torture for her).

I really miss your tete and your jiddo. I am pretty sure you don't realize she is gone,  because right after we dropped her off at the airport,  we and your khalo went and picked up your sister Rachel from New Minas. You can't take your eyes off her, you smile from ear to ear when she is around and I am so thankful for that. I hope, despite the age difference, that you and your sisters are close, as you are so loved by them.

Please remember that your baba and I love you more than you will realize.  And you can tell from what I wrote above that your tete simply adores you. Your jiddo loves you very much and has been very happy to see you and hear from you through Skype. Your khalo keeps going on and on about how cute you are, using the word "karbooj" quite a bit. Your Grammie is crazy about you, and wants to always hold you and sing to you. You can watch a video recording of her singing to you and how happy you were. Your auntie Lynne can not get enough of you. You brighten her day whenever we visit her at work. Your cousins Kaliegh and Brianna love you and are waiting patiently for you to be able to play more. Your sisters Alana and Rachel are so happy that you came along three months ago and are so excited to see you when they get the opportunity.  Please remember how loved you are by so many. You bring joy into people's lives. You bring hope, laughter, memories, betterment. If you are ever sad or lonely, just remember the happiness you brought to so many lives. Most importantly,  please remember that God loves you more than any one of us can fathom. 

I will leave you with a lyric from a lovely song:
"Don't worry,  be happy!"

Happy "Birthday" my sweet sweet angel.  Mama loves you so.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Two Months...

July 23rd, 2014

Dearest One,
You have had an eventful month my dear!
You healed up very nicely from your "procedure". When you are laying down, you can pull your head up and hold it for a bit. You can turn your head from right to left, and from left to right. You are aware of your tongue, and your arms. You seem to have more control over those parts as the days pass. You are making faces at us, and are attempting to copy what we are doing (Tete, thanks for teaching me how to stick out my tongue). Your Tete absolutely ADORES you, your Jiddo too, although he hasn't met you yet. When Tete came out of the gate at the Halifax International Airport, she gave your daddy and I quick kisses, and almost ran towards your carseat to have her first ever look at you. She gets upset if a day goes by that she doesn't see you. She loves you so much that the minute you finish feeding, she would whisk you away to hold you. You are one popular little dude, my son!
You roll like crazy now, I found that out the hard way, I am sorry to say. You can actually change your position on your playmat just by kicking. It is really cute how you are always kicking but sometimes I wonder if the extra feedings that seem to be required these days are all going to your legs. You have a wonderful smile and you have been sharing it with us for the last little while. I also feel like you are trying to talk to us sometimes, "Agoooo" is coming out of your mouth every once in a while.
You, my amazing boy, are growing like a weed, ALHAMDELLAH! Today, you weighed 4.6KG, you were 62CM long, and your head circumference was 38CM. Unfortunately, we celebrated you turning two months old by having your first set of needles at the doctor's office. But, you handled them like a champ. We then went over and visited with your Grammie, Auntie Lynne and cousin Bri. I got you a pair of sunglasses that look like your Baba's, as you are each others' buddies.
We were supposed to go to Dollar Lake with your sister Alana and Jake, but that didn't work out. I do hope to get you to a beach soon, hopefully. You are a bit under the weather at the moment, unfortunately, but I hope that you will be out of that very soon.
I love you so very much. I feel like everyday that passes, I get attached to you more and more. It was hard at first, but I feel like it is getting better. I think the fact that you smile at me helps greatly. Everytime I see a smile, my heart melts. It makes me want to have ten of you running around the house. Your Baba is your biggest fan. He is sad whenever he has to go to work, and rushes home to see you as soon as he is off of work. You are sleeping between your Baba and I at night. We love having you with us. We feel incomplete otherwise. And the bassinet doesn't seem to work for you anyways, as you still lay there awake, whenever we put you in it. Inshallah when the time comes and you have to sleep on your own, the transition will be easy for you, and for us, as I know that we will not like you not being there with us.
You are an amazing gift from Allah and maybe I don't thank Him enough, but I am so very thankful for you and that I finally got to meet you and hold you in my arms. Your Baba and I will be celebrating our one year anniversary in 12 days. I thank Allah for your Baba, as without him, I am incomplete. And now without you, we are both incomplete. I love you with all my heart my son and I hope that I am doing enough for you. Your Baba and I are trying very hard to take care of you. We love you my sweet darling.

Happy two months Jude.

Your Mama

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

One Month...

June 23rd/2014

Dearest One,

You are one month old already! Mashallah! You weigh 8 pounds, 6 oz. You are 58 centimeters long. You are a lot more aware of your surroundings. You are getting a lot better at holding your head and neck steady. You are still my bossom pal, but you are also getting around 250ml of formula. I am too nervous about you not getting enough from me. I am still nervous with you, and it is somewhat difficult for me not to be. I love you with all my heart.

We bought your baba a set of books he grew up reading, for Father's Day. I hope you have an amazing experience reading them together. You are very lucky to have him in your life. He loves you passionately, wakes up with you, feeds you and gets the "evil" cleaned up for you. I hope you understand how lucky you are to have him in your life. Him, and your Jiddo. They might seem different, but they are the same. They are strong men. Not physically, although they are, but they are strong of character, values and morals. Learn from them. Let Mohammed PBUH, your baba and your Jiddo be your role models. Inshallah you will get to spend a long time getting to know them and learning from them. Your tete is very smitten with you, my handsome lad. She got to see you in the flesh on the 20th of June. We are trying to spend a lot with her. And that does not seem enough. If she can have you attached to her 24 hours a day,  that would not be enough.

Mama will go and sleep for a bit, until the next feeding. I hope you can tell how much in love with you I am.

Love you habibi,

Sunday, June 1, 2014

A Love Letter... to Jude

May 30th, 2014

Dearest One,

Today marks a special day for me. It was a week ago today that you came into my life. You have always been in my life, I realize that now. I have missed you. I have felt your presence and longed to see, feel, hear and have you with me.

We were blessed to find out you will be with us, God willing, on the Thanksgiving long weekend of 2013. When I found out, it was a mixture of excitement, anticipation, nervousness, and sadness. I know the last one might seem strange. I felt that you were a blessing from God that I didn't deserve, that I was not worthy of. I still feel that way sometimes. But I am learning to give myself a fair chance at deserving you.

After that memorable Thanksgiving weekend, I spent the next few months in total anticipation, with all the nerves, happiness and excitement that came with it. I tried my hardest to prepare for your arrival , but never realized that it is impossible to prepare for you. When you showed up, you completely and utterly changed my life. You brought with you the sense of duty I have been missing and itching for, a duty I felt I needed to fulfill towards humanity and towards God. You also brought complete and total change. I am still trying to get a grip on things. Nothing is the same , and I am not sure I want it to be the same as it was. Without you, a piece of my heart would be gone, and without that piece I don't know how I would live.

You are so amazing, that I am having a hard time using words to describe it. You are still a mystery to me. I don't know what you are thinking, and I can not wait to find out. When you look up into my eyes, I really hope you see the love in my eyes. I hope that you can tell just how in love with you I am. I don't know if you like what you have been brought into. I hope you do. I don't know what you are feeling, and I would love to know that too. I hope that it is a sense of calm and serenity. I hope that you can feel the love I have for you. That special love that can only exist between you and I. You truly are a blessing and that is confirmed by how amazing you have been since we finally got to meet. It has not been easy. There were a lot of ups and downs. I hope that the difficulties are behind you once and for all, and that it will be smooth sailing from now on, God willing.

Please know that I am trying my hardest to become the person who deserves you. Know that everything that I do now and will do in the future is the best I can do. Know that it is out of love, no matter who unreasonable it might seem to you later on. I will always love you no matter what happens. You will always be my prince and you will always own my heart. I will always be there for you and will support you in what is right in whatever way possible. I love you my darling, for the sake of God and for you.

Yours forever and always,

Thursday, April 17, 2014

"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." -Mark Twain

Wednesday, February 12, 2014


The physical and emotional pain a mother endures during pregnancy, labour, delivery and postpartum is but one reason why Islam accords such an elevated status to mothers.  In this regard, the Qur’an reminds people to, “Respect the womb that bore you” Additionally, some of the traditions and sayings of the Prophet in this regard include: that one owes to their mothers three times more love and obedience than that owed to one’s father, and that “Paradise lies at the feet (serving the needs) of one’s mother.”


Drawing: Yours truly