Dearest Jude,
Today, you are 23 months old. Next month inshallah, you will be two years old.
You are very good at catching words and phrases. I said "dang it" in front of you last night and you repeated it twice. So we really have to watch what we say and do around you. I am trying to speak to you in Arabic every day to get you used to it. I am hoping that you will speak both arabic and English. A second language is very important in this day and age. It is especially important to ensure that the Arab and Syrian heritage is present and carried on.
Never let anyone make you feel ashamed of who you are or where you come from. You, just like every other person on this earth, are a beautiful human being. You are smart, generous, kind and peace loving. If you feel intensity around you, you try to make us laugh. That tells me that you want everyone around you to be happy. I adore that about you.
We are all capable of good as well as evil, so don't ever doubt that. You need to watch yourself and what you are capable of, above watching what others are capable of. If you do evil, you will get it. If you do kindness and love, you will get them. Even if you don't get them in this life, you will in the Hereafter. God is just. Do not let injustice in this life trick you into thinking or believing that the world is a bad place. It can be. But it can be a peaceful place, full of love. Surround yourself with good people and live a God-loving life, and even if you run into bad times or hard times, things will balance out at the end. Never ever lose hope in God. He will take care of you. He loves you a million times more than your mama and baba love you. And we love you a million times more than you can imagine. God loves you that much, and more.
I am sorry I have been zoned out. I am, insert clichéd term here I know, on a journey of self-betterment. I am trying to be healthy for you, baba, Khalo, tete, jiddo, grammie and sissies. I am still trying to find something that would allow me to feel fulfilled and to make a difference in this world, while earning a living and supporting our amazing family, all above individuals included. Please learn from my mistakes. If you find something you love doing and you think you can make a life out of it, pray istikhara and ask God for guidance, follow both your heart and mind, and then tawakkal (put your faith in Allah). Work as hard as you can at it. But never ever forget or neglect your duties towards God and towards your family. Family is your guiding light, your friends in thick and thin, and your everlasting source of unconditional love. Family doesn't just mean blood relatives, but also includes friends who stand by you always and who try to better you and your life. Those who add postivity to your life and allow you to add positivity to theirs are true friends.
Look up to good and pious people, people who care about God and people and the earth and their Hereafter. Do not look up to people who "have" things. Things are meaningless. They are fleeting. Your faith, behaviour and actions, and reputation can last many lifetimes over. This is another mistake I made. I thought that having things would make me happy. Having friends would make me happy. I cared more about quantity than quality. All that happened is that I put my hopes into certain people and they were disappointed. My friends are few, but they are my family when your tete and jiddo are not here. They are here for you too and love you as if you are their own.
I love you so much my darling.
حبيب قلبي انت. الله يخليك و يحميك و يهديك.
ماما
